The Great '68'

I would just like to discuss my husband for a moment. This sums him up perfect. I was de-junking my bedroom the other day. I mean, I threw away everything that wasn't nailed down. It felt good. I'm talking bags to DI, garbage, the shredding of important, possibly illegal, documents. So I come across note after note that I have tucked away from students over the past 12 years.(I just want to note there that I have cleaned out my room over the last 12 years.) I have a box of notes at school too. And I say to Ry, "What am I going to do with all these notes?" And his reply? "Keep every single one of them. All of them. Don't you throw one thing away. I will buy you a new file cabinet if you need me too." How is it possible someone came into my life who would know what I need, when I need it. And honor my work as a mother and teacher.
I love him.
PS, I tried to post a picture of us. I don't think it worked. It's of us at the Ben Fold's concert this summer. Another reason why the great 68 rocks my world.

Soaring . . .

Tonight I watched my sweet mother-in-law take some of her final breathes in mortality. I find myself this evening grateful for a myriad of things. I am grateful that I got to share in this part of her life. I am grateful for the family she raised, they are truly my best friends. I am grateful to have watched her and Dad at the end; the compassion, the tenderness, the eternal companionship. I am grateful for her testimony that she was bearing even at the end. I am grateful for a Savior who broke the bonds of death, who denied the grave it's claim and rose from the tomb, for He made it possible for me to let go. And even though my mortal body is grieving this most poignant loss, my spirit tonight is soaring at the very thought of her reunion with her Mom and Dad, her many sweet pioneer friends and her catching up with her two beautiful granddaughters. As sad as I am that her physical presence is no longer with me, that is how much happiness she brought to those who were waiting for her on the other side.
We grieve deeply because we love deeply.
Farewell Mom . . . for now.

One Hundred Times To Say Goodbye . . .

Ryan was talking with a co-worker last week who made the comment of how lucky he was to have all this time with his mom. You know, to say goodbye. Ryan told him he has said goodbye about one hundred times, it's not as great as you think. I can't get that phrase out of my head. So, today during Sacrement meeting I wrote down some thoughts:

One Hundred Times To Say Goodbye
One hundred times to say goodbye,
one hundred times to leave.
One hundred times to hear my name
one hundred cheek on cheek

Every time I say goodbye I wonder,
"Is this my last?"
Make sure to love, and kiss and hug
Tomorrow is our past

She dies a little bit each day
With her, my heart dies too.
I assumed those final moments, my grieving,
would help do.

But:
One hundred times to say goodbye
one hundred times to leave,
I memorize my name aloud
And touch my hand to cheek.

Maturation Class

Me - "RyLeigh, when is the day you have your meeting at school on turning into a woman,"

RyLeigh - "I think it's the end of this month."

Me - "I promise I won't embarrass you."

Long pause . . ..

Me - "I promise I will try not to embarrass you."

RyLeigh - "You better come late and sit on the back row."

She knows me too well.

You Know It's Gonna Be A Great Sabbath When . .

You know it's gonna be a great Sabbath when you stand up to lead the singing in Sac meeting and no one is joining you. And I mean, NO ONE is singing. And they are looking at their hymnal, and up at you, seriously confused. And you're like, "Oh hell, the transpose button is up again." So, you end the song as the soloist and let the organist know that the transpose button needs to come down. And she says,'I don't know anything about organs." Oh good. Super happy we have some knowledge on the bench today. So, she leans over and says, "I got it."
Then we start the sacrament hymn. Not good. So not good. If we had been singing any higher I'm pretty sure we'd a been singin' with the hosts of Heaven on this one. And I'm trying not to laugh at everyone singing high, really high. And all my spirituality flew straight out the window and one time I thought I saw the 2nd counselor looking over at me but I'm like, "Hello? You want me to stop the song right now and fix it?" I mean, cuz I would have, you know?
So after the sacrament on the way to sit with my kids I sit down at the organ and she has turned the transpose button up FOUR times! We were singing these songs four steps up from where we should be!
Hahahahahahaha, oh my, hahahahahaha!!

Year in Revue

Last January I posted something that went like this; "Moving down the line in 2009." Clever, huh? I have acutally had this post in my mind all year. I shall now go through and look back at what I actually did that was on the list, and the bajillion things I had no idea would be a part of my life.
I mentioned that Ry and I would go away for our anniversary and take our kids. We like making it a family celebration. We didn't end up taking them and taking us two months later, but we went to San Diego. My favorite place on this planet. I posted about this. Ah, the beach.
I talked about going to Paris and London with my amazing friend Kelly. I have had the opportunity, fortunate I might add, of teaching this mans four children. This was a celebration of the last one leaving Davis High. At the time I posted this I wasn't sure if my bff Bonnie would be joining me on this trip. She did. I posted about this trip too. But in my 'Down the Line' post I mentioned that I needed to eat lunch at the foot of the Eiffel Tower and cry at the Globe Theater in London. Done. And done.
We went to Marsh Lake! Twice actually! Once with Ry's family and once again in September with our delightful friends, the Rose's. And Taeler and Rachel. Marsh Lake in the fall is my new favorite time. Right before everything goes to sleep. It's like I'm the last one to see it awake. I dont know why, but I love that.
I wrote that I would get a massage and tan. Two things for my mental status. Didn't happen. Mental status didn't suffer.
Because I was faithful to work out. And a side note to this is that when I posed for my Lady Macbeth photo, I looked damn hot and I would dare say made my photographer uncomfortable. I posted about this as well.
I got to direct Peter Pan. Life. Altering. Experience. We played in Neverland for 3 months. I taught the kids how to find their inner child and let them out. It was harder than you would think. We kept happy thought journals, painted with pudding, sang, danced, got battle wounds and if you look really hard, you can still find pixie dust in the Davis High Auditorium. "It's time for dinner!"
One thing I wrote was that I wanted to stay better connected to friends who had really been there for me. THis one really ended up being completely different than I expected. THose people I had in mind when I wrote that particular item were the ones I ended up putting on hold. Season change. And those relationships did exactly what Marsh Lake did, they went to sleep for awhile. This has been very hard. And sad for me. But needful. A step back is always good. Other friends however, came out of nowhere. One friend inparticular, who I have loved since I was 5, came back into my life. She is a blessing.
One item is that we would begin the process to add # 4 to our family. He has yet to even be an option. I don't think he is eluding us. Perhaps just bidding his time? Apparently there is more to this story than meets the eye. I will keep you updated on that one!
Okay, those were just the responses to said items I wrote down clear last year. HEre are some things that happened that were not listed:
Because of my work with Peter Pan, I was guided to learning a new vocal/breathing technique. I was able to travel to Los Angeles TWICE to learn about this process. I began teaching it to my students. It's incredible. They achieved more in the first week of school than sometimes those classes do all year. It's hard work, but altering in it's scope for a performer. WAnna know more? Shoot me an email! I will teach it to you!
I went to Cedar City with my bff Syd and stopped in our favorite town of Nipple and took a picture! Long, funny story that I won't bore you with here. Just know that Fillmore use to be the capital of Utah, and oranges have navals, and there is no way for me to explain this story. HAHAHAHAHAA . . . .
I got to sing in Women's Conference in September in Salt LAke. AMAZING! I loved the rehearsals, met a wonderful woman from Utah County who was our director. Just an overall yummy experience. I'd do it again. Tomorrow.
Back to Cedar City to play with my students where they took 2nd place in Sweepstakes for their Shakespeare work. Booyah!
I got to be a part of DAvis High School's production of "The SEcret Garden." Tender, compassionate, heart-felt, touching. Oh what a special place in my heart I have for those kids and that show. No words to describe it fully. Other than to say if we could go back and do one more performance I would in a second. To feel again what I felt then, ah . . .
M kids performed in their first musical theater performance with ShowStopper Productions. I loved it!! About broke my heart seeing my Duncan up there dancing with a girl! And RyLeigh is gorgeous onstage. Highlight of the year for me. I couldn't quit smiling.
Watched a close friend make some re-aligning decisions in her life. Big ones. Being so open to whatever was needful. Watched it be hard. Watched her cry. Glad to say made her laugh. Learned with her as she went. Kept my mouth shut alot. Opened it when I couldn't stand it any longer. I love her. She is kicking butt and taking names.
Ups and downs. Backs and forths. That's a year in the life, right? I sat on the beach on my birthday. Wondering why certain things didn't pan out this year as planned. And then I felt what a gift this year has been to me. All of it. A complete gift. And there I was sitting wondering why I didn't get more. Or what I wanted. Selfish. Very selfish. Right then I accepted the gift of this year. Given to me by my Heavenly Father, made possible by loads of people. Mostly my husband. And all I can say is thank you.
Thank you.