It's Nice To Know . . .

That some people miss you as much as you miss them.

Shake it off, just shake it off . . . .

Okay, I know I need to blog about "Nunsense." And I will. Truth is, I don't think I can find words to express what that experience meant to me. But I shall try. Later. For right now though, a story.
I didn't like today. I don't like the person I am at my job. I like my job. Just not me at my job. So, lots of expectation, and pressure and shiz to do. All the time. And Ryan's been stressed. And that stresses me. Anyway, I came home and got Amylee ready to go to her first dance class. Her little tights, ballet shoes, leotard and skirt. I took her there and walked her into the room. She was so happy. And the music was so beautiful. And I watched her little arms move up and down and her little toes pointing and I all my stress, all my anger just sort of dissipated out of my body. And I got the distinct impression that was exactly where she needed to be. And I almost cried.
Then I spent the evening with my delightfully funny friend, Lindy. Oh she's wild. And makes me laugh so hard I almost pee. Our rules?
Rule #1. Obviously. Keep your clothes on
Rule #2. Check the tension
Rule #3. Shake it off, just shake it off
Rule #4. ROCK ON.
Theeeeennnnn . . . .I got to see my sister NUNS!! Sweet bug eatin Sister Hubert is moving far away to some town in Louisiana that is spelled one way and said another. She leaves Friday. I love this girl. And I was so happy to see her so happy and ready for this new adventure. And Sister Amnesia. And Reverend Mother. Sister Leo was at work. I miss them. I miss how I feel when I am with them. Over yogurt, there I was again. Me and Robert Anne, just chillin'.

I suck

I do. Completely. Tonight's rehearsal was . . . well, a big, fat joke. And yet, I still had a great time. How is that even remotely possible? I mean, we are talking major, MAJOR brain farts here. I stopped right in the middle of the tap number because I had zip idea what came next. WHAT??!?!? Then I forgot to sing. Then my solo came out sounding like a 1st grader at her end of year talent show. What the hell!?! And yet, on we went. Laughing, squishing beetle's. At one point I had severe anger for those beetle's and I may have jumped up and down on one. Repeatedly. Yes, it made me feel better.
We open on Thursday. I think I'm too old for this. OR something. If I lose focus for a second, I'm screwed. Who knows where I'll end up. And for those of you that know me well, it doesn't take much to pull my focus. I gotta get in the zone here. I gotta pray.
Let's all pray, shall we?

Shoes

It's crazy how a pair of shoes can make one so happy. My friend is reading my blog today, so I thought I would write about something. I also realized I said I was going to blog about my "Nunsense" experience, and I have not. So, here is a little post about shoes, AND the show.
See the shoes in this picture? (I hope it uploads). I get to wear those in "Nunsense." Why do I get to do that, you may be asking? Well, mostly cuz I just decided that's how it was going to be. I am not even sure I really ever checked with my director. Robert Anne seems like a green converse kinda gal. And when I put them on my feet for Tuesdays rehearsal, I felt like Benny from 'The Sandlot.' I could have outran a dog, no joke. Except that the first run through of Act II on tuesday resembled a train wreck, the second time we ran it we were super good and I really think my shoes helped. They do rub however against the blisters on the back of my feet, but that's another story I won't bore you with here.
Show Update: It's crazy fun and I love it! Except that sometimes it kicks my butt. This is very hard work that I had forgotten what it felt like. Except that I have never felt like this on stage before. It's very hard to describe. I acted all through high school, some college and community stuff. I guess during all that time I was trying to be good, like if I didn't prove I was good enough to be there the audience wouldn't like me. Or some stupid thing like that. I was always wondering what the audience was thinking of me instead of just giving over to the story and character. It really wasn't that much fun. I stand up there now and I LOVE telling her story. I love singing with my Sister Nuns. I just want to share with the audience how great this little show is. And in wanting to give so much it doesn't feel like it's about me at all. Because before, it was all about me. All the time on stage. And it's super weird, because I use to not wear my glasses on stage. I never really wanted to acknowledge an audience out there. How freakin' weird and stupid is that?! But it's true. Now, I have to wear my glasses. How will I ever see to connect with the people who have come to support us if I don't wear them. And it's weird for me. And I feel super vulnerable about it. And sort of all grown up.
I think it's the shoes.

I LIKE . . .

SUMMERTIME! Alot. I mean, like a ridiculous amount. Here are some reasons why (all mostly selfish, but whatev)
*Root Beer Floats. I swear I don't eat these 9 months out of the year. I don't know why.
* Late night jaunts to Smith's to get said items for RBF's.
*Hanging out with my sister-in-law/Best Friend, Krisite. I love her. We would be best friends even if we weren't related. Last week we sat in her back yard on her porch swings in the sun eating chips while the kids fought. It was heavenly.
*Late Night Reading
*The SUN!!! And being warm. Now I know the sun has not been out much, but it's not the bone-chilling cold that makes me so damn irritable.
*Nothing on my brain. Nothing
*I only have to dress up once a week, not six.
*Raspberry Ice Tea. There I said it. Only a few select people in my life know my affinity(I like word) to this beverage. Again, mostly just a summer drink.
*Sunday Night's. Knowing I don't have to get up and go anywhere the next day.
*Lunch dates with so many people I love!!
*Sleeping in. Duh.
I hesitate to say this, because then people will expect things from me, but I love to cook in the summer. And have already tried a new dish. Oh my, it was divine.
*The tank of gas in my van last FOREVER.
Happiness linked specifically to this summer:
UACTT (Utah Advisory Council of Theater Teachers) Conference in Cedar City next week!
Fitzmaurice Breathing/Vocal Technique Workshops (Truly, this work is incredible and vital for a performer. Also carries over into everyday life. Interseted? Let me know!)
Marsh Lake. Ah . . . . .
4th of July back at Dad Thorne's house after many years away!
I get to be in a show again!

These make me laugh . . .

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10


No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10


2.WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10


3.HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8


4.WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8


5.WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other.

Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10


6.WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and

have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8


7.IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.

Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9


8.HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is...


9.HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Nunsense is Habit-Forming . . .Rehearsal Day 1

I'm gonna blog about this. Alot probably. Mostly because I want to keep track. Also because I think it's going to be really good for me to be on the other side for awhile and I don't want to miss any of it. And, sometimes I make my kids keep journals of what's going on with a show. I'm going to see if it's as useless as they sometimes act like it is.
I was so nervous. Rehearsal was suppose to start at 6:30pm and at 5:45 I was pacing around my kitchen so giddy and nervous all at the same time! I didn't know what to expect; never worked with this director, not knowing everyone, not being on stage for 8 years and forever before that. We had some craziness at our house so I ended up being 10 minutes late because of an unforseen (is that even a word) emergency. I was mad at myself for being late so I ran in screaming, "Don't kick me out, please don't kick me out!" Mostly I begged for forgiveness. I'm not ashamed of that at all.
So, in case you don't know, the premise of the show is that these five little nuns are doing a variety show to bury their dead sisters who died of botchulism (not spelled right) when Sister Juila, Child of God, made a batch of bad soup. The show is hilarious, completely inappropriate and has moments of complete blasphemy. Alyn, one of my very best friends who plays Reverend MOther, said it's okay to blaspheme because our audience will be mostly Mormon and not get why it's funny. She said this all the while laughing herself off her chair. ANYWAY, when I got into my van today I found a plate of cookies for the Little Sisters of Hoboken made by Sister Julia, Child of God (an anonymous nun). I took the cookies to rehearsal where Brittany (Sister Amnesia) ate one. Where upon she swelled up like a balloon because she is allergic to nuts which 'Sister Julia' had put in the cookies. Damn that Sister Julia, now she trying to off Sister Amnesia. Classic moment.
My friend Alyn is probably the funniest person I know. She is wild. And makes me wild. And we were wild all night long. I have no idea how I"m going to be in a scene with her and not laugh because tonight sitting by her trying to read through the play we were both peeing our pants. Good thing I have four months to get this right.
I get to be Sister Robert Anne. I love her. I forgot how naughty she is. She is constantly playing, and getting others to play with her. She is corrupting the novices, to which Sister Hubert replies, "Well, at least she's not in jail." I cannot tell you how many times my mother said that to me growing up. Robert Anne is the better part of me. I am super happy I get to be with her this summer.
The other Nuns are fabulous. Sister Leo(Heather) and I get to do a dying nun ballet dance where I shall lift her and douse her in soup with my ladle from my tureen. I'm also wearing green high tops. And I get to choreograph the tap number.
I loved, LOVED that our director (Andrew) just let us play tonight. He didn't try to direct us, he just let us go. I have never sat down to a cold reading and just let it all go, didn't care whether I sounded stupid or not. Being able to hear my voice and being bold with choices made the night so productive for me. I didn't feel scared. OR fake. And long, long story short, I quit acting 18 years ago because I could no longer hide behind this scared person I had been my whole life. I found me 18 years ago, and that me couldn't be on stage. It felt fake. I feel like now I am back to play, just me, all me. And I can't wait.
Today was frustrating at my work. Why people feel the need to say things that you don't really need to hear is beyond me. It was the best ever to go do something else tonight, and not be defined by the walls of DAvis High. There is more to me than my job.
Thanks for listening.